Secrets Exposed

Its time I admitted the problem to myself, I am terrified of suffering post partum depression. The fear hung around my head even before I got pregnant, there was a stage where I refused to contemplate having children as I didn’t want to chance passing on some of the mental health issues and addictions that are on both sides of my family, let alone going through pregnancy and having the possiblity of not bonding with my child and hating her.

I know, I know I trained in social work and have worked in a psychiatric facility, but that really means shit. What it means is that I can have empathy for a person and their family when mental illness comes crashing down upon them, but thats it.

Its the unknown and lack of control I fear, there is no way to tell what will happen until the baby is here. I have a wonderful support network and have contacts if I need a refresher in coping stratigies, but sometimes I fear I’m too dependant on people and expect them to save me and pick up the pieces.

Pregnancy really fucks with you hormonally, I attemped to read ‘buddhism for mothers’ but was turned off by a passage that mentioned pregant women feel thier compassion growing for others as the baby grows within them. Pffft maybe for some people, not for me.

I pretty much want to exorcise half the human race, all these horrible so called parents that beat, abuse and kill their children, I find myself devising terrible plans in my head of what I would do to them. Compassion my arse…I feel like I’m becoming a sniper. (the news is not your friend!)

Territorial urges have started to rear thier ugly head. I want to snap at people that this is ‘my baby’ and not any one elses… jesus where does the ugliness come from? and if one more person asks to see my fucking stomach I’m going to fall into a pile on the floor. I get it I’m pregant, this doesn’t mean I’m on show. You’ll see the baby when she is here.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this post, just that I didn’t want to hide in the shadow of fear, I’m sick of it… I want the ugliness to go away.

Categories: mental health, pregnancy | Tags: , | 6 Comments

An Award… For Moi?

weeeeeeeeee! I got a blog award from the lovely RugyMad over at Wool Diaries

Go say hello ๐Ÿ™‚

Hereโ€™s how the award works:

After accepting the Versatile Blogger Award, the blogger must:
Thank the person who gave the award and link back to them in your post.

Share 7 things about yourself.

Pass this award along to 15 recently discovered blogs.

Seven Things About Me:

1. I am a huge supporter of animal rescue and no kill animal shelters.

2. I have a degree in social work but struggle with the current education system and feel education needs to be more about real life skills and less about competitiveness and stress.

3. I Want to live as self sufficently as possible, even though I know this would require alot of hard work, blood, sweat and tears.

4. Huge fan of body modification (think piercings, tattoos and scarification)

5. Read tarot cards

6. Lover of paranormal things โค

15 newly discovered blogs I found that Iโ€™m passing this award on to

Ummmm these are just some of the blogs i like ๐Ÿ˜€ and no I'm not recommending 15 0-o.




Categories: friendship, Uncategorized | Tags: , | 2 Comments

Dyeing to Soothe the Soul

Oh blog, how I have missed you! I feel like it has been eons since I updated. Still no crochet, but to help soothe my creative soul I have been dyeing yarn ๐Ÿ˜€ Food colouring + vinegar + hot water = yarn colour healing goodness.

The first yarn is an 8ply (dk weight) which was white, 100 % crepe wool. I used about one table spoon of yellow food colouring and it turned out so bright ๐Ÿ™‚ As its only 50g I’m thinking of making a pair of bright cheery fingerless gloves.

Next in the dye bath, was a 7ply (really? who makes 7ply yarn?)Patons Australia brushed, mohair, acrylic and wool, which I picked up from a second hand shop for $1. I dye it a pink and green and when drying hubby remarked it looked like bubblegum ice cream. I’m surprised it took the dye so well as they yarn is 40% acrylic. Anyway i think this yarn will make a nice toy, maybe a unicorn?

Third in the dye bath line up, is some lovely chunky cream wool, thick and thin ,that I dyed ,red, yellow and orange. I call this yarn ‘Muted Fire’ as when I was mixing the colours together I though of bush fires. The wool really slurps up the dye so it went lighter then what i expected.

Anyway I hope you are well… and the creative faery is being good to you…

Categories: creativity, Dye | 3 Comments

Sleep and Other Lessons

Last night was the first night in two weeks that I managed a full night sleep. Bliss! No vomiting, hacking cough or chest pains ๐Ÿ˜€ This was due in part to my G.P prescribing me some awesome cough syrup that has a shit load of codein in it, which makes one drowsy as a baby who is milk drunk.

I’d almost forgotten what a full night sleep felt like,obviously I wont be getting perfect sleep when the baby is here, but you expect that, a tiny little human that depends on you for everything, plus I (hopefully) won’t be sick when taking care of bub. I was so sick the other morning (think 3am) that hubby actually came into the bathroom rub my back and hold me 0-o

So with everyting that has been happening, crafting has been taking a back seat, I can’t bare to look at the baby blanket or touch it, it feels like sensory overload. I started a weaving project from a tutorial found on the internet and have left that lying on the table.

All I want to do is stay in bed and snuggle with my dog, instead I’ve been cooking trying to slowly put food into the freezer, for when we come home from the hospital.

I’m off to read some blogs and hopefully get some inspiration…

Categories: creativity, pregnancy | 3 Comments

Wednesday with the Gladiator

Categories: love, The Gladiator | 3 Comments

Enough Said…

Bring wool back to Australia!

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Progress shots

During the past couple of weeks I feel like I haven’t got much crafting done, it is a strange feeling indeed. Even stranger now that we have moved into our new place and I can spread my craft supplies out.

The rainbow blanket has taken a backseat at the moment and I’m working exclusivly on a baby blanket. It is about halfway done, the pattern is of course from Lucy on her blog Attic24. Here is a progress shot so far

I plan on crocheting a border around the blanket once its done. Fingers crossed.

I must really finish the granny stripes pouch I have lounging around. It is about 90% done and is holding my lenormand cards. (I read tarot and lenormand cards) I decided to do black and grey stripes for something different. Once I have finished that pouch, I will work on another pouch with much brighter colours, then offer the pattern here on the blog for free. Progress shots below.

So that is what I have been working on so far… Hopefully next time I update it wil be with finished items and a written pattern to share

Categories: creativity, crochet, Year of Projects | 5 Comments

Moving arrangements

We have moved into our new space, it is bliss! between moving, hospital appointments and visiting relatives, I am very much looking forward to putting my feet up and relaxing! I have stil managed to get some crocheting done, pictures to follow. Unfortunately the Gladiator isn’t with us :/ He is my dog but was bought as a family dog and my parents refuse to let him go. Thankfully this time I’m only a 30 minute train trip from seeing him and not in another state like last time! So I still get to see him at least once a week and kiss him. An added bonus as part of our house sitting arrangement is we are looking after the occupants darling dog named Sparky.

As part of the house sitting arrangement I get to use some of the wool that the occupants have left behind ๐Ÿ˜€ it is a huggggggggggggeeeeeeee big crate filled with all sorts of yarny goodness, unfortunately due it being stored it has developed a musty smell, so it will need washing before crafting. But still that’s pretty neat ๐Ÿ˜€ I just wish I had time to craft everything before the baby arrived.

I wish you all well.

Crochet craft update with photos will be soon. I promise

Categories: moving | 2 Comments

Hookin up!

I am part of the month long project called Hookin Up, designed to help spread the word about crochet and kick ass blogs.ย  You can see the idea and its many participants here.

Yesterday I was reviewed by the wonderful Cris from ‘Crochet with Cris’ who made me beam all over, she is lovely… go and read the interveiw and say hello to the very talented Cris Click Here

Now its my turn, with the wonderful Jocelyn from Cute Crochet Chat

The first thing I notice about Cute Crochet Chat is the literally delicous blog header. It makes me want to eat cupcakes with pink frosting decorated with cute little butterflies, then roll around in tub filled with delicate mohair yarns.

CCC is run by Jocelyn Sass wonder woman extrodinare. Not only does Jocelyn design crochet patterns, she does everything else! From blogging, taking photos and editing to book keeping and filling orders and shipping them. Phew! I don’t know how she does it.

You can access Jocelyns patterns through her website or etsy link. Immediatly I click and vist etsy and am delighted to be presented with hats, headbands and some cute home decore. My eyes are drawn to a flower headband ( a gal can never have to many hair bands)

Gorgeous hair wrap

Once again i’m impressed by how clear the photos are and the fact that the listing tells you what weight yarn you will need (it may be surprising but a number of pattern designers do not list what yarn is required when uploading their patterns to etsy. ) and type of stitches used. Pattern prices are more then reasonable(which means you’ll want to purchase more than one!)

Back at Jocelyn’s blog I’m charmed by her conversational tone, yes I really do feel as if she is talking to me, her book reviews make me want to go out and buy tons of crochet books ,but for those of you like me who would rather spend money on yarn, you are in luck! Cute Crochet Chat regularly has giveaways, so make sure you subscribe!

Jocelyn very kindly decided to take time out of her busy schedule and answers some quick questions.

Five Fast Ones! (Five interview questions)

1. Where do you find your inspiration for designing crochet patterns?

Inspiration for designing comes from so many places! Sometimes, it depends on what you are ‘into’ at the time. By that I mean when my children were small, I loved designing toys, dolls and other kid related items. When my daughters were teenagers, I loved designing the latest ‘trend’ in hats and other accessories. Right now, I have been designing baby crochet items for my oldest daughter’s new photography business. So you can see, sometimes “Necessity IS the mother of invention”! I also love designing wearable accessories that are quick and easy to crochet. Ideas come from all over. I love finding inspiration in a fabric shop! I adore all the beautiful colors and patterns of sewing fabric. I also look through magazines, pattern books and trendy internet sites.

2. How long does it take you to complete a design?

When I was selling my crochet designs to books and magazines, my items took a much shorter time to crochet and write instructions for from start to finish. Since I have been self-publishing, bringing a design to completion takes a tremendous amount of time. That is because when you self publish and sell your designs yourself, there is so much more work involved to bring it to fruition. You control and must accomplish all the work involved yourself, from writing the pattern, to photographing the prototype, to formatting the pattern for publication, to writing all the descriptions for your items, to then delivering the pattern to the buyer! Right now, I have about 15-20 crochet patterns that have been designed and crocheted, but still need me to size the pattern, photograph the item and format the pattern for publication! It now takes me some time to bring a design to the crocheting public!

3. What is your favourite project to make?

I originally learned to crochet so I could make lovely, lacy doilies! But over the years I have come to appreciate the speed of crochet, while making quick and easy home decor, fashion accessories and baby items! I love that you can start with only a ball of yarn and a hook and sometimes overnight create a gorgeous item!

4. Chocolate or Ice cream?
Without question, CHOCOLATE!

5. Any Tips for those wishing to enter the crochet industry professionally?

First and foremost, always be as professional as you can in every aspect of your business, whether you are dealing with editors, contract crocheters, publishers or your own customers. Do your homework and know what is involved in creating crochet designs that are suitable for publication. Read as much as you can about the business of crochet design. There is so much information that is available on the internet today, that was not available when I first started designing! Look through the crochet publications to see what type of designs they usually publish. Don’t send a crochet doily pattern to an editor that only publishs crochet wearables! Above all else, have fun with your crochet!

Categories: crochet, friendship, Hookin Up | Tags: , , | 5 Comments

Sickness, Health and the Hook

I feel like the past week has gone by in a gigantic blur.ย  I hit my third trimester and become as sick as a dog with a UTI, vomiting and horrendous muscle cramps.ย  I didn’t get to sleep this morning til 4am from exhaustion and woke up at 8.30am :/ย  I’m on anti-biotics which are a God send, at the moment i’m glad we are living with my parents because my hubby is recovering from a sprained ankle and has been hobbling around on crutches, as you can imagine we make quiet a pair.ย  Although we are ment to be moving in to our friends house and looking after the place at the end of this week, I can’t face it.ย  I want someone else to move for me.

Thankfully one of my parents is a nurse and the other an OT, so I don’t have to worry about panicking needlesly or worrying if the baby is okay.ย  Worst comes to worse my brother runs the Emergency department at the local hospital so if things don’t clear up I can pop down there.ย  (its great having nurses in the family!)

Anyway onto more creative news. I am still working on my rainbow blanket and haven’t forgotten about it, but in a momentary lapse of insanity late last week I decided to start a baby blanket, I am halfway through it, so if the peeing and vomiting can hold off for a bit, I may actally finish it within the next 1-2 weeks.

Speaking of crochet I was recently interview by Jasmine over on her blog, if you want to know a little bit more about me then check out the link below.

What is amazing about Jasmine is she is 13 and boy can she knit!ย  I am currently drooling over her beautiful cabled mittens, seriously people check out her blog.ย  This is one talented lady.

Speaking of interviews I recently interviewed a crochet designer and will be posting a review of her site and her answers.ย  Check back for the interview on the 29th of this month.

So now I am off to catch up on some much needed blog reading and answer emails.

Categories: crochet, pregnancy | 2 Comments

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